Call me Ishmael. Actually, call me Miguel.

Alright people, I've given up. I'm not longer going to fight it.

Whenever you do anything in Spain, they ask you for your name (and later your number). Spanish for "What's your name?" is "¿Cuál es tu nombre?". I know it's coming. Everytime I go to Starbucks, make a reservation, drop off dry-cleaning, etc. "¿Cuál es tu nombre?".

I've tried "Mitchell". Train wreck. I tried shortening it to "Mitch". Fewer letters, more mangled spelling. I tried "Cooper" but the lady just smiled and didn't even try to write it down. (Sorry Cooper, if you ever move to Spain, you're screwed at the dry-cleaning place in the basement of the Corte Inglés complex in Pozuelo de Alarcón.)

So from now on, I'm going native. When they ask my name I'm going answer with "Miguel". When Spanish natives pronounce "miguel", it sounds similar to "mitchell". Sort of. Okay, it doesn't but they completely start and end with the same two letters.

Please address all future Christmas cards to "Miguel Cooper". Mitchell has left the building.