So I got a text from Mr. Ren today ...

Hi Mr mitchell just now motorcycle boss call me explain for we setrp tomorrow 5:30pm to 6:00pm petween pick up motorcyce. Moreover you should be inform agent tell his this matter.Thanks

Do you guys know what this means?!?!

Actually, I don't either. But I'm going to use context clues and assume that I'm getting my bike tomorrow!

Oh, and the dead tree was gone when I got home today. Still no front step, though.

One more thing: I discovered we have a small infestation of ants on our kitchen floor. So far it's not so bad but I'd like to take-care-of-business before they think they own the place. I went to the store to buy ant killer but they didn't have any. If anyone knows of homemade ant killer, or something I can use from around the house, please post it in the comments. Thanks!

No posts = a lot going on

I have moments throughout each day when I think to myself I've got to blog about that, although when the time comes to sit down and write, more often than not I seem unable to find the time or the energy to get it done. So, in no particular order here's what's been going on lately:

Just Like Obama

We were driving into work one morning and Mr. Ren asked me about what I was going to do that day. It was a pretty typical day for me, so I explained to him that I had  7 or 8 meetings lined up throughout the day. Apparently Mr. Ren was blown away because he immediately said, “Wow! You're just like Obama!”. Now, it's worth mentioning that we weren't even discussing Obama so it took me a little while to figure out what he was saying. I must have had a puzzled look on my face, because he quickly followed up with “You know, Obama. Every day. Meeting, meeting, meeting”.

I know what you're thinking, “How can that be strange? I bet Mitchell gets compared to President Obama all the time.” Well, the truth may come as a surprise to some of you, but this was the first time anybody has likened me to Barack Obama. I know it's shocking since we have so much in common. Like .... hold on here, I'm sure there's something ... Well, we both have beautiful wives. But that's about it.

My Motorcycle

Not much to say here. I still don't have it. It was supposed to be ready this week, then the weekend, and now not until Monday or Tuesday. I don't mind saying that the entire process is getting a bit tiresome and I'm getting a bit pissed (however, that could just be the lack of air conditioning. More on that later).

I'm tired of dealing with it so I've got Mr. Ren following up on it. He'll talk to the shop manager everyday and let me know when it's ready. After that we'll pick it up on the way home from work one night this week. I'll need to keep some riding clothes in the car since I'd hate to get grease or oil on my new suit (more about that later).

It's worth noting that I still owe a substantial amount of money on the motorcycle, so in preparation of the pick-up, I had to go to several ATMs yesterday and withdraw a lot of cash. I'd take a picture to put on the blog, but it makes me feel dirty, like a drug-dealer or something. For now, just envision a 3 inch stack of cash. I can't even fold it to put it in my pocket. I certainly don't want it lying around the house and I don't want to carry it with me either. Oh well, hopefully the bike is ready soon.

Chinese Drivers License

Nope, I don't have my Chinese drivers license either. I have the study book and the paperwork so basically I'm 90% of the way there. Although now that I mention it, I was 90% of the way there 2 months ago. Hmmm, I might just be procrastinating. Much to Jess's chagrin, I'm still driving though.

Taxes

Instead of studying for my drivers test, I've been using my spare time to prepare our 2010 income taxes. Yes, I realize it's August. The downside to expatriate life is definitely a more complicated tax situation. No 1040-EZ form for the Cooper's this year ...

The Chinese Men Are Everywhere

As part of the contract renewal on our house, we arranged for a few things to be fixed. As I write this, there are two Chinese gentleman outside the window in our backyard ripping the deck out. Initially it was a bit creepy that we can sit and stare at each other but I think we've all gotten over it. At least they're doing something. We've had about a two stoppage of work because the old crew got fired. Confused? Allow me to back up a little and re-tell the story.

I landed in China on July 11, after returning from my mini-summer-vacation to see you all. :) When I got back, I had noticed that they ripped out all the grass in the backyard (sort of), and built the world's ugliest retaining wall around the dead tree in my backyard (I have no idea why, perhaps to keep it from falling over?). Mud, and debris and an ugly-ass retaining wall. That's all there was. Oh, and they knocked out most of the steps that lead to my garage, making them treacherous while while wearing dress shoes.

Upon returning from work the next day, I expected to see quite a bit of progress. After all, this is the country where they built a 15 story hotel in 6 days. Curiously enough, it all looked the same, including the garbage. The same the next day, and the next. I'm a pretty patient guy so I just went with it thinking that there was a good reason and that they were working to resolve it. (Note: this type of behavior, which I exhibit all the time, is why people like me cannot thrive in China. Jess is relentless about following up on things and making sure other people follow-up on their commitments. You have to do that here. It's also the reason why I still haven't received my motorcycle.)

Anyway, I continued to be patient until they (I never got the entire story of who they is) cut the power line to my house. At 3:30 on Monday morning everything goes out. It was storming so I assumed that something had happened to knock out the electricity. Turns out it was just my house. On my way to work, I notified the property manager that I had no power and it needed fixed. Of course, since I wasn't there to follow-up, nothing happened. That night after work, it was a lot like Little House on the Prairie. I had to use candles and heat water on the stove for a shower (the hot water runs on natural gas, but the thermostat is electric).

Three days go by (I'm not even kidding) with zero progress. Finally, I asked Lydia (my super great assistant) to hound the property manager like a dog (yes I actually said that and no, that expression doesn't translate correctly here in China) until they got it fixed. She was only partially successful; instead of fixing the problem, they were able to run a temporary cable to the house so I could enjoy frivolities such as lights and a functioning refrigerator (unfortunately, by that time the food had already gone bad). However, the root cause, a "broken cable" (their explanation, not mine) was unable to be fixed at that time because who the hell knows. So now I have lights and Internet access but I still can't use high wattage things like the air conditioning or the microwave. That was a week ago. I've complained to everyone I know but apparently "the cable" is a complicated thing to fix. Meanwhile, I can't use the microwave but who wants hot food when you're sweating your nuggets off here in the Beijing summer heat.

But wait, there's more! :)

There are workers fixing other items in our list, like this guy:

Poor guy, he was so exhausted from playing solitaire all day that he needed to take a nap.

These two guys belong to "crew #2". They are actually really good and got a lot done in a short amount of time. I don't know how they were doing it since it was nearly 100F outside. If you look closely, they've ripped down the retaining wall the "crew #1" erected around the dying tree (the house owner told me they would take the tree away).

New Suit

I finally picked up a new suit from the tailor. Navy blue this time. Seriously, that guy is a magician. He's like the Yoda of the tailor-ing world ... except his name is John.

I tried it on and it fit like a glove; no alterations needed. It's only since I've moved to China that I've realized how pathetic the "fittings" are at Men's Warehouse back home.

Locked indoors

Since I've been back in Beijing, the Air Quality Index (AQI) has been pretty bad. The past few days have been especially nasty. The AQI meter that we rely on is the one on top of the U.S. Embassy building in Beijing. The one provided by the Chinese government does not seem to be quite as reliable. Today's reading is: The scale is defined from 1 - 500, broken into the following levels:

Good 0-50
Moderate 51-100
Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups 101-150
Unhealthy 151-200
Very Unhealthy 201-300
Hazardous >300

The U.S. EPA sets the thresholds, although I'm not sure if there are more quantitative measures, such as x% increase in illness with y minutes of exposure. For now, I'm just staying inside and hoping that it improves before Jess and the kids return.