Update on the bike

Just for fun, I noticed today's dictionary.com word of the day is aesopian. For those of you who aren't sure what that means, now is a good time to find out (so click on the link). Now that we're all in the little club and know what aesopian means, we can go on. This week could've turned out better (that's me being aesopian). On one hand, my new motorcycle is still not ready; on the other, I got my electricity back. At the time, I wasn't sure which one I wanted more but in retrospect, getting the electricity (and therefore the air conditioning) was the better choice.

Mr. Ren and I left work on Tuesday to stop by the motorcycle shop to pick up my new bike on our way home. I had done my prep work, so I had a bag of clothes in the car, my stack of cash, and my receipt (with the Chinese stamps all over it). I ALSO had every intention of feeling the clean Beijing breeze blowing through my hair as I rode my new prize back home that evening.

When we arrived, I entered the shop and walked through the showroom looking for my bike. I saw a really cool black motorcycle that had the front disc brake like I requested, but I couldn't find my bike. The shop manager greeted us warmly in Chinese (he doesn't speak English) and sure enough, walked me over to the black bike. Sigh. China strikes again.

When he saw I was upset, the shop manager was clearly confused and called Bill (who is the owner, and does speak English, AND the guy I personally ordered my bike from). Bill was very confused as well. That made three confused guys... and Mr. Ren who had no idea what color of bike I ordered or what the problem was. After explaining that no, I had indeed ordered an army green motorcycle, we agreed to pick it up after they re-painted it and we left. The ready date for the bike is now August 16 – 20. For those keeping track at home, this is a full month after it was supposed to be ready. No amount of negotiating and looking stern would get the shop manager to agree to an actual ready day. I knew he wouldn't but i had to try anyway. And it wouldn't have mattered even if he did commit to a date because he could and would change it later. That's what makes doing business in China so damn interesting (aesopian, again)!

BUT, I have a full-proof plan to get my bike. That's right, Mr. Ren. He's going to talk to the shop manager every few days and inform me of the progress. As I mentioned to a good friend of mine today, I'm at the point in my life where I'm outsourcing all the routine stuff. In this case, Mr. Ren is my number two. I'll keep you posted as he keeps me posted.

Since I know you were all eagerly waiting for some cool shots of my new motorcycle, and after all this time not posting them is bound to be a letdown, I'll instead post two pictures of a beautiful BMW motorcycle that I saw outside of our local Jenny Wang's grocery store.

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Do you see the pin-striping on the seat? Now that's German craftsmanship at its finest!

As an interesting side note, the lack of electricity and dealing with workers and facility people that only speak Chinese has re-energized my desire to learn Chinese. If you can't yell at people in their native language, what kind of a Pointy Hair are you?

Actually, I don't yell at people. But it is incredibly frustrating to be unable to communicate with people. So, in an effort to enhance my delegation AND Chinese skills, I sent Xiao Guo the following SMS today:

Qing ni wancan zhu ji rou, hao ma?

Which roughly translates to: Please cook chicken for dinner, okay?

I asked a colleague to check it for correctness and to make sure I wasn't sending her some sort of lewd text and, after receiving confirmation, I hit SEND, feeling relatively confident in my abilities.

That's why I was so excited when I got home. No chicken.

(and yes, that was me being aesopian)

08-12-2011 Update: Actually, she did make me chicken for dinner that night. She put it in a Tupperware container that got shoved to the back of the fridge. I never should have doubted her ...

So I got a text from Mr. Ren today ...

Hi Mr mitchell just now motorcycle boss call me explain for we setrp tomorrow 5:30pm to 6:00pm petween pick up motorcyce. Moreover you should be inform agent tell his this matter.Thanks

Do you guys know what this means?!?!

Actually, I don't either. But I'm going to use context clues and assume that I'm getting my bike tomorrow!

Oh, and the dead tree was gone when I got home today. Still no front step, though.

One more thing: I discovered we have a small infestation of ants on our kitchen floor. So far it's not so bad but I'd like to take-care-of-business before they think they own the place. I went to the store to buy ant killer but they didn't have any. If anyone knows of homemade ant killer, or something I can use from around the house, please post it in the comments. Thanks!

No posts = a lot going on

I have moments throughout each day when I think to myself I've got to blog about that, although when the time comes to sit down and write, more often than not I seem unable to find the time or the energy to get it done. So, in no particular order here's what's been going on lately:

Just Like Obama

We were driving into work one morning and Mr. Ren asked me about what I was going to do that day. It was a pretty typical day for me, so I explained to him that I had  7 or 8 meetings lined up throughout the day. Apparently Mr. Ren was blown away because he immediately said, “Wow! You're just like Obama!”. Now, it's worth mentioning that we weren't even discussing Obama so it took me a little while to figure out what he was saying. I must have had a puzzled look on my face, because he quickly followed up with “You know, Obama. Every day. Meeting, meeting, meeting”.

I know what you're thinking, “How can that be strange? I bet Mitchell gets compared to President Obama all the time.” Well, the truth may come as a surprise to some of you, but this was the first time anybody has likened me to Barack Obama. I know it's shocking since we have so much in common. Like .... hold on here, I'm sure there's something ... Well, we both have beautiful wives. But that's about it.

My Motorcycle

Not much to say here. I still don't have it. It was supposed to be ready this week, then the weekend, and now not until Monday or Tuesday. I don't mind saying that the entire process is getting a bit tiresome and I'm getting a bit pissed (however, that could just be the lack of air conditioning. More on that later).

I'm tired of dealing with it so I've got Mr. Ren following up on it. He'll talk to the shop manager everyday and let me know when it's ready. After that we'll pick it up on the way home from work one night this week. I'll need to keep some riding clothes in the car since I'd hate to get grease or oil on my new suit (more about that later).

It's worth noting that I still owe a substantial amount of money on the motorcycle, so in preparation of the pick-up, I had to go to several ATMs yesterday and withdraw a lot of cash. I'd take a picture to put on the blog, but it makes me feel dirty, like a drug-dealer or something. For now, just envision a 3 inch stack of cash. I can't even fold it to put it in my pocket. I certainly don't want it lying around the house and I don't want to carry it with me either. Oh well, hopefully the bike is ready soon.

Chinese Drivers License

Nope, I don't have my Chinese drivers license either. I have the study book and the paperwork so basically I'm 90% of the way there. Although now that I mention it, I was 90% of the way there 2 months ago. Hmmm, I might just be procrastinating. Much to Jess's chagrin, I'm still driving though.

Taxes

Instead of studying for my drivers test, I've been using my spare time to prepare our 2010 income taxes. Yes, I realize it's August. The downside to expatriate life is definitely a more complicated tax situation. No 1040-EZ form for the Cooper's this year ...

The Chinese Men Are Everywhere

As part of the contract renewal on our house, we arranged for a few things to be fixed. As I write this, there are two Chinese gentleman outside the window in our backyard ripping the deck out. Initially it was a bit creepy that we can sit and stare at each other but I think we've all gotten over it. At least they're doing something. We've had about a two stoppage of work because the old crew got fired. Confused? Allow me to back up a little and re-tell the story.

I landed in China on July 11, after returning from my mini-summer-vacation to see you all. :) When I got back, I had noticed that they ripped out all the grass in the backyard (sort of), and built the world's ugliest retaining wall around the dead tree in my backyard (I have no idea why, perhaps to keep it from falling over?). Mud, and debris and an ugly-ass retaining wall. That's all there was. Oh, and they knocked out most of the steps that lead to my garage, making them treacherous while while wearing dress shoes.

Upon returning from work the next day, I expected to see quite a bit of progress. After all, this is the country where they built a 15 story hotel in 6 days. Curiously enough, it all looked the same, including the garbage. The same the next day, and the next. I'm a pretty patient guy so I just went with it thinking that there was a good reason and that they were working to resolve it. (Note: this type of behavior, which I exhibit all the time, is why people like me cannot thrive in China. Jess is relentless about following up on things and making sure other people follow-up on their commitments. You have to do that here. It's also the reason why I still haven't received my motorcycle.)

Anyway, I continued to be patient until they (I never got the entire story of who they is) cut the power line to my house. At 3:30 on Monday morning everything goes out. It was storming so I assumed that something had happened to knock out the electricity. Turns out it was just my house. On my way to work, I notified the property manager that I had no power and it needed fixed. Of course, since I wasn't there to follow-up, nothing happened. That night after work, it was a lot like Little House on the Prairie. I had to use candles and heat water on the stove for a shower (the hot water runs on natural gas, but the thermostat is electric).

Three days go by (I'm not even kidding) with zero progress. Finally, I asked Lydia (my super great assistant) to hound the property manager like a dog (yes I actually said that and no, that expression doesn't translate correctly here in China) until they got it fixed. She was only partially successful; instead of fixing the problem, they were able to run a temporary cable to the house so I could enjoy frivolities such as lights and a functioning refrigerator (unfortunately, by that time the food had already gone bad). However, the root cause, a "broken cable" (their explanation, not mine) was unable to be fixed at that time because who the hell knows. So now I have lights and Internet access but I still can't use high wattage things like the air conditioning or the microwave. That was a week ago. I've complained to everyone I know but apparently "the cable" is a complicated thing to fix. Meanwhile, I can't use the microwave but who wants hot food when you're sweating your nuggets off here in the Beijing summer heat.

But wait, there's more! :)

There are workers fixing other items in our list, like this guy:

Poor guy, he was so exhausted from playing solitaire all day that he needed to take a nap.

These two guys belong to "crew #2". They are actually really good and got a lot done in a short amount of time. I don't know how they were doing it since it was nearly 100F outside. If you look closely, they've ripped down the retaining wall the "crew #1" erected around the dying tree (the house owner told me they would take the tree away).

New Suit

I finally picked up a new suit from the tailor. Navy blue this time. Seriously, that guy is a magician. He's like the Yoda of the tailor-ing world ... except his name is John.

I tried it on and it fit like a glove; no alterations needed. It's only since I've moved to China that I've realized how pathetic the "fittings" are at Men's Warehouse back home.

Mr. Ren Loves Me

Or, to be more precise, Mr. Ren loves his new summer hours. This is what his week looked like:

• Sunday – worked for 2 hours to take Jess and kids to the airport
• Monday – day off
• Tuesday – drove me to work, then home from work
• Wednesday – day off
• Thursday – drove me to work, then errands, then home from work
• Friday - drove me to work, then home from work
• Saturday – day off
• Sunday - day off
• Monday – day off

Pretty sweet, huh?

However, Mr. Ren is extremely handy to have around. On Thursday I asked him to run a few errands for me. I finally got an ETC pass (which is a typical transceiver for your car which allows you to bypass the tollbooths and use a special lane) for our car. To entice people to get an ETC, they offer a discount every time you use it. Despite their marketing, time is the real asset saved here. The discount is 5% so instead of paying 5 rmb each time you pay 4.75 rmb. To put that in perspective, I’m saving 4 cents every time we go through the tollbooth ($0.73 instead of $0.77). However, during rush hour it can save 1 - 3 minutes of waiting in line, each way.

The other errand I asked Mr. Ren to run was more of an experiment than anything else. You may have heard us talk about it before, but the fact that China uses 220V @ 50Hz for residential electrical service makes it not cost effective to use our 110V appliances here in China because of the need to purchase a transformer for them (the transformer takes the 220V and steps it down to 110V). If we don’t use a transformer, then the 110V appliance will overload and basically burn up and stop working as soon as you plug it in.

Here’s a picture of our very cool transformer that runs the coffee pot I brought back from a business trip to California. The transformer is not exactly part of the Martha Stewart Collection but it's tucked away in our 2nd kitchen and it gets the coffee going just fine.

Back to the errand. One of the items I put in our shipment was a set of Bose speakers to put in my office so we can listen to music while Jess and I work. The speakers are great; they are small, look nice and sound wonderful. However, the wall plug only takes up to 120VAC so to enjoy them I need to steal one of our few transformers and use that. What a drag.

Enter Mr. Ren. I was unaware that he was so skilled at shopping. When he dropped me off at work on Thursday I explained about output voltages and current, and that I wanted the same thing except for 220V.  I was expecting utter failure when he picked me up after work. Or at the very least that he traded my original power supply for the new one. But actually, he found the perfect replacement.

The whole thing cost me 30rmb (about $4.50) and two minutes of my time. For those of you that know what I'm talking about, that is so un-China. Nothing works here the first time. That is most of the adjustment struggle when you move here; it's that you iterate toward the goal and not achieve it the first time around. Go ahead, ask Jess how many errands she can realistically accomplish in one day in China. It's not many because simple things become complicated here. Not because there is anything wrong or because people have bad intentions towards you; it's just the way it is.

You might be thinking, so what, it's just a wall plug. But to me it wasn't just a wall plug. When Mr. Ren handed me my new wall plug, the receipt (with one year guarantee no less!), and my change, it felt like the entire China universe was slightly off-kilter. Unbelievable.

But for those of you getting slightly worried about the Chinese universe, don't be. I almost ran out of electricity today so things are definitely back to normal. :)